When is courage real?
The Fulcrum of Courage, Part 13
When Good Friday coincided with the Feast of Annunciation in 992, millenialist clerics were certain the Apocalypse was about to commence.
When it didn’t, they recalculated the date and modified their expectations.
In 995, the two events coincided again, and the clerics recalculated again.
Each time, they redoubled their efforts to convince people.
By 999, they had gained enough followers in schools and churches to fund their cause from revenues made through simony.
Millennialism was not taught at the monastery in Aurillac where Gerbert first studied. However, he did learn mathematics, music, and astronomy. As a young man, he learned to cultivate food and medicinal plants, and the value of curiosity.
The monks encouraged his eagerness to learn and facilitated his progress. When the opportunity came to advance his knowledge beyond theirs, they enabled him to take it.
Gerbert first learned of numerical mysticism in Spain.
Arab numerals are practical. Numerical mysticism is esoteric and ritualistic.
Gerbert freely admitted that he once briefly entertained the millennialist theory of history. However, by the time he met Otto the Great, he found it highly dubious.
Otto the Great was worldly and pragmatic.
Arab numerals impressed him for the same reasons as Gerbert. Even though their lives were vastly different, they could both see how spreading this knowledge was a worthy endeavor.
Otto II had a similar relationship with Gerbert.
The two men grew from their interactions. Otto II was a genuine friend even when Gerbert failed repeatedly and struggled to be someone he wasn’t.
In early December, riots broke out around the Mediterranean and across Europe.
Meridiana was deeply concerned that Gerbert could be killed by fanatics if he made a pilgrimage or held mass in Jerusalem. Plus, going would appear to confirm millennialist beliefs. So, she asked him to stay in Rome.
He agreed.
Millennialist clerics regarded his decision contemptuously. To them, it was a black and white question of morality.
Most people were illiterate but clerics could read. Millennialists believed their theory of history was essential to salvation because it drew upon holy texts. They regarded themselves as keepers of a higher truth who were anointed by God, and it was morally incumbent upon them to guide the ignorant masses.
Some openly accused Gerbert of learning sorcery in Spain before their congregations. Many stated for a fact that he had a pact with a succubus.
According to them, the new pope had risen to power by sinister means and was planning to summon the Devil using his book of spells that very night.
Gerbert was visibly worried when he went for his walk in the monastery garden on the morning of December 30. Sensing his fear, Meridiana placed a borage in his hand, gently squeezed, and promised to be there when he got back.
On the way to St. Peter’s Basillica, Gerbert saw an ocean of faces from his carriage.
Tens of thousands were gathered in the streets. There were 60,000 in the courtyard alone. Almost all of them wore sackcloth. A fog of ash hung over them.
He saw both fear and hope in their eyes.
He also saw a massive display of essential goodness.
Even when actions are taken that lead to suffering, others can understand why those actions were taken if they share the same beliefs about the world. It is easier to forgive those whose actions make sense to us, than those who do not.
Over the course of history, shared beliefs have changed frequently - subtly, dramatically, and often foolishly.
Doing penance signaled trustworthiness among the faithful because they shared an abstract understanding. They were taught the same theory of history and lore of demons. They explained things the same way and justified their actions accordingly.
When it is safer to conform, the lies we tell ourselves make our conformity more convincing. Self-deception becomes a survival skill. To use beliefs as camouflage is to risk being enslaved by flawed schemas.
Gerbert knew the millennialists were gaining political power and their beliefs were spreading. He wondered how many pilgrims concealed doubts just to stay safe.
He also knew that no single person can have perfect knowledge of all things. The crowd believed millenialist clerics had special knowledge - an elite gnosis - that illuminated the course of history. Clearly, truth mattered to them, too.
Warnings are not taken as foolish or deceptive when the people issuing them are revered as truth-keepers. The crowd hoped to be among the worthy who would reign with Christ after the cataclysm, or resurrected at the end of time.
Gerbert heard people praying for mercy. They knew they were sinners, but their penance was for a worthy cause - their souls.
There was also a simmering aggressiveness in the crowd. It was ostensibly moralistic, but it was an artifact of humans wearing beliefs as camouflage, not wisdom.
Coming together helped them feel optimistic. Penance helped them feel worthy. They were afraid but hopeful. The anger belonged to the millenialist clerics.
It was not the crowd’s intent, but the effects of their beliefs, that worried Gerbert.
The provost’s daughter noticed optimism among the pilgrims too. Except, she spotted it several weeks before Gerbert, shortly after they began arriving in Rome.
She brooded about it for days. All her work would be for naught if the crowd didn’t terrify him… Still, she thought, she might be able to instigate a riot if she could take away their hope. Surely, violence would strike terror in him.
In early December, the provost’s daughter started a rumor that Gerbert had lost his soul because he entertained demons and gambled with the Devil.
By the time the sun set on New Year’s Eve, everyone in the crowd knew about it.
The story went Meridiana killed Charles V in his sleep. That night Gerbert threw a party to celebrate. As he had done before, he used a spell from his book to summon demons. They drank wine and played games of chance, and the demons let him win.
As midnight approached, Gerbert got reckless. The demons tricked him into summoning the Devil. When he realized it cost his soul, he challenged the Lord of Demons to a game of dice hoping to win it back.
The Devil accepted on one condition: Meridiana would still enable Gerbert to become pope, but only if he agreed to use his book of spells to help defeat the prophecy of Seven Trumpets in which the worthy escape Hell.
If Gerbert won, he could have his soul back. As pope, he would represent the faithful. If he lost, the Devil could have all the souls in Christendom.
The tale morphed as it spread through the crowd. In some versions, Gerbert won. In others, he lost. The only piece that was consistent in every version was that Gerbert gave up his soul when he used sorcery to summon the Lord of Demons.
He was beholden to the Devil, and certainly not righteous. Indeed, many in the crowd regarded him as a coward. Simply by rolling the dice, Gerbert had sealed their fates.
It was tempting to hide.
Gerbert knew many influential people were angered by what they heard. The wars and riots weighed heavily on him. Fear was on the verge of giving way to aggression.
Even though it was too dangerous to make a pilgrimage to Jerusalem, Gerbert was still head of the Church. It was his duty to give mass.
The situation made him deeply uncomfortable. He had no formula to follow other than the ritual.
As the sun set, Gerbert remembered what failure was like. It was just not an option.
Then he realized the very next sunrise would reveal the truth.
His belly felt tight, but the decision was no longer complex. He already knew what to do, and he would not be intimidated. He would honor the truth by being both cautious and considerate. He deliberately chose to go before the crowd.
When mass was over, not one person moved. Nobody made a sound.
Instead, they waited for an angel to descend from Heaven, and for Satan to appear in the form of a seven-headed dragon with ten horns.
By all accounts, when the sun rose on January 1, 1000, the weather was no different than the day before. There was no angel, no dragon, and nobody rioted.
Many of the faithful suspected their penance convinced God to change the course of history. They were purified, alive, and safe together. Surely, He was merciful. Their hopes were realized and the non-event affirmed their faith.
The millennialist clerics failed to predict the precise start of the Apocalypse again, but they were not prepared to abandon their theory of history.
This time they had more followers than ever.
The clerics adjusted the date to Easter 1033, 1000 years after Christ’s death. They maintained their interpretations of scripture, went back to recruiting students and judging heretics, and continued believing they were God’s anointed truth-keepers.
The provost’s daughter felt denied. It infuriated her.
Gerbert was supposed to be destroyed by terror, but he gave mass anyway.
Nothing short of his complete elimination could satisfy her because of this.
While Gerbert secretly reunited with Meridiana in a monastery garden on New Year’s day, the provost’s daughter plotted her next move.
Next: What is the price of courage? Facing death.